Crocodile in Bristol is every man’s girlfriend

The crocodile reportedly on the loose in Bristol is “me missus without ‘er make-up”, according to a flurry of Facebook status updates posted by every man in the area.

Reports of a crocodile on the loose in the Bristol area has residents on alert, but there is no need to worry as everything is okay according to almost every male in the local area, who have all claimed responsibility via Facebook for the recent sighting.

Jerome Bustyfield from Whitchurch was one of the first to make the announcement via his Facebook account.

“I told all me Facebook friends that everything is fine. It’s just Emma, who climbed out of bed this morning and didn’t put on ‘her face’”

“I just didn’t want people to worry.”

Iain Peacock from Keynsham claimed on Facebook “Don’t worry. Sarah just hasn’t had her morning coffee yet.”

“Ooh she weren’t happy with that. No sir. No sex for me for about 3 decades.

Totally worth it though.”

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