Despite the clocks changing twice a year for several decades, everyone is still in a state of inexplicable confusion and shock over the arrival of darkness, it has emerged.
When the clocks went back, or possibly forward, on Saturday, or maybe Sunday, everything has just gone really fucking weird, say residents.
“When I finished work the other day it was light outside” said local retail worker Jerome Bustyfield, “But now it’s dark. Everything is dark, and I don’t know why and frankly, I’m scared.”
“This is obviously supernatural trickery at play and I want it to stop.”
Officer worker Iain Peacock agreed, “I left the house in the afternoon to pick up a paper. 3 hours later I was absolutely rat-arsed in The Crossways.
Obviously I blame it on the darkness. It’s playing psychological games with my mind.”
Local timekeeper Dan Dante told us “It happens twice a year. We really should be used to this by now. The clocks go forward and it gets lighter earlier. Or darker earlier? Or did they go back? No, wait…”
“Oh fuck it. Panic. Just panic.”