Midsomer Norton elders have announced plans to release a brand new TV channel which is going to be even worse than ITV2 and Channel 5, news has emerged.
A spokesperson has claimed the new channel, which will feature people from the Norton-Radstock area, will use ITV2 as a benchmark for what they can get away with.
“Research has suggested that our residents oppose shows that could educate them or make them better in any way and instead prefer fodder that highlights the many different ways various people fail to function correctly.”
“If someone literally shits themselves in a show, then that’s just a bonus really.”
Gina DeCampo, an avid ITV2 watcher from Paulton, is sceptical of the channels claims.
“I don’t think I can become anymore closed-minded or moronic, but I’ll give the channel a chance. If there is just a hint of me learning about something worthwhile, I’m turning off. “
“Last week I was watching a BBC3 programme about drunken stag parties in Austria, and the narrator mentioned it was the country where Adolf Hitler was born. If I wanted to learn about the Iraqi War, I’ll buy a fucking book.”
Programmes already commissioned include “Scrounging Cunt Street”, “Vaginas in Ibiza” and the pilot of the brand new “Stop, Point and Laugh” series, titled “The Man with a Penis on his Face”, which essentially involves lots of poignant footage of a man with a big cock on his head.