Norton-to-Norton taxi rides banned
Midsomer Norton’s collective of taxi companies have announced a permanent ban on taxi rides that both begin and end in Midsomer Norton.
Local cabbie Iain Peacock said “Walk, you lazy cunt.”
Midsomer Norton’s collective of taxi companies have announced a permanent ban on taxi rides that both begin and end in Midsomer Norton.
Local cabbie Iain Peacock said “Walk, you lazy cunt.”
A 32 year old woman from Midsomer Norton has posted “New Year, New Me” on Facebook, despite the fact that she’ll spend all of next year as the same classless tosspot she has been for most of her life. Chantelle DiCampo, a social media addict from Westfield whose 17 year old son is currently robbing…
Now the summer holidays have begun, Midsomer Norton police have warned residents to be on the watch out for gangs of antisocial school teachers hanging around street corners. “Sadly, at around this time every year we have to deal with hordes of disorderly school teachers from Norton Hill and Somervale celebrating the end of term.”…
As carnival season gets under way, health officials have reminded local residents that getting run over by carnival floats could be bad for your health. Just like every year, officials have reiterated advice that carnival goers should avoid walking or standing right in front of extremely large carnival floats, as well as the large tractors…
Incessantly annoying “boy racers” who gather in desolate car parks at night are secretly amongst the most cultured and educated elite, insiders can reveal. Iain Peacock, head of the Midsomer Norton Institution of Undercover Journalists, exposed the story after providing covert reporters with “chavved-to-the-max” Ford Fiestas and planting them inside the local boy racing community….
Pokémon Go character Pikachu has been arrested in Midsomer Norton skatepark on drug related charges, sources have revealed. According to a police spokesperson, officers were called to the skate park after reports of someone harassing the public by demanding they throw balls at him. “Officers arrived at the scene to discover an obviously intoxicated individual…
Men everywhere are calling women out on how long it took them to really take their “impromptu” no make-up selfie. “Me missus posted her makeup-less face on Facebook yesterday with the description that she quickly snapped it after getting out of the shower.” said Iain Peacock, from Radstock. “She conveniently didn’t mention that I had…
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