The Easter Bunny has announced Easter has been cancelled in Midsomer Norton and across the South West, citing “logistical difficulties due to extreme weather conditions”.
The announcement comes amidst yet another snow flurry to hit Midsomer Norton within two weeks.
“Honestly, it’s been a fucking nightmare.” said the Easter Bunny. “Key suppliers have been delayed. Regional distributors aren’t delivering because of health and safety. Our wholesale depots haven’t been properly staffed. We’re weeks behind schedule. Basically, it’s been a shitstorm. Literally.”
“People just don’t understand the logistics behind Easter.”
“It’s usually Santa that has to deal with this shit. He’s geared up for it. I’m not.
It’s fucking Spring, for fucks sake.”
The news come 24 hours after children have been warned to expect delays receiving money in return for their baby teeth as reports confirm the Tooth Fairy is still stuck on the A38.