The Loch Ness Monster has been spotted holidaying in the River Somer along the Midsomer Norton Highstreet, local papers have reported.
Eagle-eyed photographers snapped photos of Loch Ness with his family taking an early-year break from the wintry showers over Scotland, where he is currently filming his latest movie “The Dreaded Loch Ness Whose Secretly Just A Hopeless Romantic Looking For Love. 5.”
“You wouldn’t think he was famous just to look at him” explained Heat Magazine photographer Dan Dante, “He just looked like any other prehistoric, mythical sea-dwelling dinosaur. Just keeping to himself and having a nice time.”
Pub owner Iain Peacock explained how he didn’t even recognise Nessie,
“He came in and ordered a lager n’ a Chardonnay. Didn’t know who he was until the missus told me, like”
“Just seemed completely normal. I mean he did savagely devour a couple of my regulars, which I thought was a little odd.”
“But they were twats, so ya know. Swings and roundabouts.”
Local gawker Jerome Bustyfield was happy about his celeb-sighting,
“It’s really splendid to see such a high profile celeb vacationing in England instead of the Bahamas or something.”
“I’ll tell you what though, he’s let himself go a bit, ain’t he?
Jeez.”