People will no longer give a flying fuck about anything other than watching On-Demand TV or getting completely shitfaced for the next few days, scientists have predicted.
Professor Dan Dante – from the Research Institute of Weekend Studies – claims that this sort of behaviour occurs about once every week, typically on or around Friday afternoons.
“We predict that pretty much anything meaningful gets flung out of the metaphorical window around this time and replaced with Jagerbombs, casual sex and the new season of ‘House of Cards’ on Netflix”
“Not necessarily in that order.”
Iain Peacock is a mortgage advisor at a bank on the High Street,
“At half past 4 today I am in my office talking to a young couple about credit scores and investment rates.
At around 6pm today I plan to be utterly munted, dancing aggressively to dubstep with no concept of personal space.”
Jerome Bustyfield is a software developer from Radstock,
“If you listen carefully, you can almost hear the collective sound of people no longer giving a shit at around 5pm every Friday.
It sort of sounds like a balloon deflating.
It is fucking marvellous.”