Summer has confirmed it’s just fucking with our emotions by tricking us into believing we may see something other than overwhelming bleakness over the next 3 or 4 months.
“I try to do it every year” explained the season, “A week or two of sunshine in early May, just to give you all a taste of what it must be like to live somewhere that isn’t so fucking miserable.”
“And then as soon as the pubs set up their beer garden tents and you optimistically purchase that really expensive bottle of Nivea sun moisturising lotion, I take it all away from your grubby little paws.”
“Basically, as soon as June kicks in, I’m going to spend the next 3 months pissing on your stupid heads like the worthless minions that you all are.”
“Fucktards.”