Manchester United’s hordes of glory supporters have expressed feelings of confusion and bewilderment over the growing revelation that they’re following a now largely average sports team.
Radstock resident Jerome Bustyfield, a supporter of Manchester United ever since they started winning things, appeared ultimately baffled over the events of the last few months.
“I’m not sure whats going on. Manchester United usually score more of those goals than the team they’re playing, but that doesn’t seem to happen so much anymore.”
“Granted, I could barely name three United players and I wouldn’t know what a holding midfielder is if one came up and smacked me in the face…
…But what I did know is that most Saturday afternoons I could celebrate an inevitable victory whilst my Bristol City supporting friends cried into their pints.”
“And I’ve been living under the reasoning that because I support a better team, I know more about football.”
Dan Dante is a Man United fan, who previously supported Arsenal until they finished twelfth,
“Before I supported Man Utd I thought it was a gay nightclub or something.”
“But I’m certainly not a glory supporter. My uncle’s neighbours son lived in Manchester for 3 years.”
“Well, actually it was Oldham, but it’s practically the same place.”
Dante, however, remained philosophical about United’s current predicament.
“I would like to tell Van Gaal that for every problem there is a solution. The problem is Manchester United losing makes me feel sad. I don’t like feeling sad. So I’m going to support Leciester City, who win. Winning makes me happy.
It’s just common sense when you think about it.”