A man from Midsomer Norton can’t stop telling people about how much he doesn’t care about the FIFA World Cup, reports have emerged. During the tournament’s group stages, rugby fan Jerome Bustyfield from Midsomer Norton started by posting images of empty cardboard boxes on his Instagram page alongside the caption “this is how many fucks…
A Midsomer Norton man who has no interest in rugby until England get into a semi-final is now trying to look like an expert despite referring to tries as “five pointers”, news has emerged. Jerome Bustyfield has spent the whole week posting on Facebook about how proud he is of “the lily whites” despite not…
Residents of Midsomer Norton have been left assuming anything is possible after the England football team actually won a World Cup penalty shootout. “I’m going to drive to Bristol, and at no point am I going to get stuck behind a tractor, a twat pulling a caravan or any other slow moving vehicle” said local…
Midsomer Norton’s male geek community are swooping on the ladies with unprecedented success as their more socially acceptable competition are all busy shouting men’s names at a television screen. “We have literally never had it so good” said War Hammer enthusiast Jerome Bustyfield, “We’ve all been rehearsing our ‘what’s all the fuss about this game’…
People across Midsomer Norton and Radstock are already developing cunning strategies on how to best avoid Liverpool FC fans this summer. Liverpool are amongst the two favourite teams to win the Premier League. And with only two matches remaining, many are warning that a Liverpool victory will cause an inevitable surge of insufferably self-righteous twats…
Manchester United fans have begun to contemplate the meaning of life as well as other philosophical conundrums now that they aren’t entirely consumed with winning everything. “A 2-2 draw with Fulham just isn’t something I particularly want to dwell on for very long” said Man United fan Jerome Bustyfield, from Radstock. “I really needed something…
Manchester United’s hordes of glory supporters have expressed feelings of confusion and bewilderment over the growing revelation that they’re following a now largely average sports team. Radstock resident Jerome Bustyfield, a supporter of Manchester United ever since they started winning things, appeared ultimately baffled over the events of the last few months. “I’m not sure…
A new outreach program begins tomorrow to help delusional Spurs fans “face reality” and stop living in denial, in the latest council initiative. After spending the entire summer refusing to accept that Gareth Bale would ever leave the club, as well as believing their inferior signings will somehow inexplicably lead to them winning the league,…
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