This morning’s power cut that affected both Midsomer Norton and Radstock was caused by immigrants from Syria “flooding the UK”, according to local far right group ‘Norton First’.
“Before them Syrians starting coming to Europe, we had electricity every Monday morning, and now we don’t.” claimed ‘Norton First’ leader Jerome Bustyfield. “It’s simple cause and effect.”
“They come ‘ere, steal our jobs, steal our houses, and now their benefit funded Sky tellys and smartphones are stealing all our electricity. When does it all stop?”
The ‘Norton First’ leader has warned residents that they should assume any person just moving into the area is working for ISIS.
“Our advice right now is to remain in a state of utter panic, be angry with anyone who looks like they don’t belong, and under no circumstance use either facts or common sense when making decisions.”
Chip shop worker and ‘Norton First’ supporter Gina DiCampo also weighed in on an issue on which she essentially knows nothing about…
“I don’t really understand how electricity works or how I get it, but it seems clear to me that if David Cameron wasn’t letting in Syrian families into my country, I’d be able to watch Cash in the Attic right now.”
“On the bright side, at least we now have people to blame for Radstock town centre being so absolutely shit all of the time.
It’s all their fault.”