Midsomer Norton has been labelled dull and tedious now all the exciting drug-fuelled antics have stopped.
Raids last month have dried up the area’s drug supply, giving many residents no other choice than to face the dreary monotony of real life.
“It used to be such a magical place where you felt like anything could happen” said resident Jerome Bustyfield, “Police sirens. Shady backstreet deals. Suspicious characters lurking in darkened corners. I felt like Jack Bauer every time I walked down the High Street.”
“Now the only thing people I meet on the street want to talk about is mortgage rates and UKIP.”
Self-employed carpenter Iain Peacock agreed, “I’m no hard drug user, but tripping on a tab of acid made doing my tax return the most awesome thing ever.”
“Even if it did lead to the HMRC fining me for trying to claim expenses on a unicorn.”
Many concerned residents, including 28 year old Dan Dante, have speculated on the impact to the music scene,
“Have you ever tried listening to heavy metal without being totally smacked off your tits? It sounds like a random mish-mash of instruments going through menopause.”
“Oh, and what am I supposed to take with me to Glastonbury now? Alcohol?!?”
“You’re having a fucking laugh.”
“If Breaking Bad taught me one thing, it’s that taking drugs is okay and everyone should do it, all of the time.”