“Game of Thrones” based on Norton

HBO series “Game of Thrones” is actually based on the constant sparring between Midsomer Norton and other nearby towns, it has been revealed.

Speaking in an interview, author George R. R. Martin revealed for the first time that the inspiration for the popular books – that feature several warring families battling it out for control of their lands – is actually based on the numerous, often baffling drunken conflicts between residents of local towns around Midsomer Norton.

“It all began when I was walking down the Highstreet,” Martin explains, “and some old, hunched man wearing a dark brown shawl hobbled towards me waving a big stick and screaming ‘Winter is Coming!’.”

His carer told me afterwards that it was about to drizzle and that I should put on a waterproof jacket, which made a little more sense.”

“The battle scenes featured throughout the books are actually pretty much exactly what I saw outside Fat Sams at around 2am Sunday morning.” – Martin continued – “The bloodshed. The piercing screams. The pure, unadulterated terror in a man’s eyes.

I just replaced the broken Corona bottles with flint spears and the Abercombie & Fitch with boar skin pelts.”

“Job done.”

Martin also confirmed some lingering suspicions,

“Yes, the twisted, undead-laden lands North of the Wall were written into the books after I visited Peasedown.”

A spokesperson for the Midsomer Norton tourist board had mixed feelings over the revelations.

“It’s interesting I guess that we’re the inspiration for what is essentially a program made up entirely of gratuitous sex and violence.”

“Overall though, this is probably not a good thing.”

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