Midsomer Norton council has issued an urgent press release this afternoon reminding residents that HBO’s Game of Thrones doesn’t depict real life.
Frenzied chaos exploded on the High Street yesterday afternoon after a fictional character from a fictional show who no one has actually met in person was written out of a script portraying fiction.
Witness Jerome Bustyfield described the scene…
“People were either laying in the streets sobbing hysterically or hitting others in the face with laptops for posting spoilers on their Facebook accounts.”
“Honestly, you’d think it was a Saturday night in… well, Norton.”
Gina DeCampo from Westfield is a Game of Thrones fan
“I told my nan that if I had a choice between her and Jaime Lannister I’d choose him, and you know what? I’m not even sorry.
I mean he is one of few people that can forge a peace between House Lannister and the Dornish thus protecting the realm, and my nan lives in a home watching Pointless all day.
But what do I say to my co-workers when they ask me who’s going to protect the Seven Kingdoms from the White Walkers now? What do I say to them? Explain that to me.
That’s how my tomorrow looks.”
The incident follows news that in order to expand on their unofficial ‘No one is safe’ tagline, next season will see HBO executives tour the world executing fans in real life.
An HBO spokesperson said…
“To make season 6 even more shocking, during the last few minutes of each episode we’re going to break down the door of a fan and shoot them in their stupid, dumbfounded face.
Seriously. No one is safe.”