Last night’s thunder and lightning storm over Midsomer Norton has led to a dramatic increase of Internet ads requesting “thunder buddies”, it has emerged.
Iain Peacock, a pathetic wimp from Westfield, used CraigsList to search for potential matches.
“Match.com was only interested in whether I was looking for a serious relationship or a ‘bit of fun’.
Astonishingly, in this day and age, thunder buddy wasn’t an option.”
“Then I tried Plenty of Fish, but no one would accept my invitation unless I removed my top and took a photo of myself in my bathroom mirror.”
“So I posted an advert on CraigsList. I’ve gotten 13 responses so far, which is good. But some of them are asking me what kind of underwear I’m wearing, so I’m not so sure.”
Amateur rapper Terrence Butcher also posted an ad.
“I ain’t no pussy or nothin’, like. I just don’t like loud noises, innit.
Or clowns.”