A couple from Midsomer Norton are about to sit down to watch Love Island, like the pair of mindless, obedient sheep that they are.
Love Island – a show that documents the monotonous antics of group of tedious men and women arguing around a swimming pool and that’s literally it – is essentially a gateway show for actual pornography.
However, with Love Island, viewers have to sit through long periods of the show that consist of Adrianna screaming at Harley about “mugging her off” because he said he loved her even though he fingered Jennifer behind a tree the day before. And later that evening viewers are treated to coverage of the pair reconciling under a slightly moving duvet cover.
“I fucking love it” said local Midsomer Norton resident Jerome Bustyfield “What I love most is the superb dialogue. Where else can you hear two ladies bang on about ‘rutting’ and everything being ‘lit’”
Bustyfiend’s girlfriend Gina DeCampo agreed, “I look forward to focussing my entire attention span on the love lives of several strangers that I’ll never meet.”
“Fuck my relationship and my actual friends. They’ll have to make do by themselves for the next two to three months.”
“Now if you don’t mind, it starts in a few hours and I have to mentally prepare myself by sitting in a dark room.”