TV adventurer Bear Grylls has been found wandering aimlessly and confused through Radstock this morning, news has emerged.
Grylls was reported missing after telling close friends he was about to embark on his most dangerous and arduous expedition to date.
Sgt. Jerome Bustyfield of Radstock police said in a statement he was found in good health, albeit very shaken.
“Apparently Mr. Grylls took to camping on the outskirts of Radstock last night in what he described as the ultimate test of courage and endurance. However it appears his undertaking inevitably proved just too much.”
“When we picked him up he was mostly incoherent, just mumbling about something to do with the pointlessness of life.”
Grylls said via a spokesperson that despite training for months in the far reaches of the Congo and war torn Sierra Leone, Radstock was just too bleak and distressing, and he would not return.
“To be fair, Bear isn’t doing great. After being rescued he’s now just sat in the corner of his hotel room, gently knocking his head against the wall with a blank expression on his face.”
“A major concern appears to have been the local cuisine. Despite often feasting on the innards of African dung beetles, the local kebab house simply proved too much of a challenge.”
“He’s going to have a bit of a rest now.”