Officials have today told local residents that the best way to enjoy Midsomer Norton carnival night is to stay at home and watch ‘I’m a Celebrity’ on the telly.
The advice released by the council has claimed that staying at home in front of the TV means there is little chance of getting both cold and wet whilst coming to the realisation that you are essentially stuck at the side of a road all night staring at light bulbs, which is basically what’s going to happen if you go and watch the carnival.
“It’s really just people who can’t dance illuminated so brightly you can see them from space” said carnival spokesperson Jerome Bustyfield “I mean, that’s it. That’s literally it.”
“We do it in November to make sure that you will be both cold and constantly rained on. Frankly, the fact that this is still a thing is rather bizarre.”
Despite many residents claiming that they won’t let the rain spoil their evening, it turns out that being drenched right through is actually quite shit, especially if there is no good reason for you to be outdoors.
“Just stay at home” said Bustyfield, “There’s a Panorama special on about the Volkswagen scandal.
That could be quite good.”