US President Barack Obama has today continued efforts to forge a UN coalition in support of military intervention against Midsomer Norton during Friday and Saturday nights, it has emerged.
Speaking in a press conference today, Obama was confident plans would progress.
“It is clear that the UK government isn’t adequately dealing with the increasingly worrying state that befalls Norton from around 11.30pm every Friday and Saturday evening. If the fighting spills out of the Norton borders then it could quickly escalate into an all-out International war.”
“Ideally we would like to send in UN Inspectors, but if that’s not possible then I see no other choice but to send in troops to try and restore order. Possibly some oil drillers too.”
Jerome Bustyfield, a spokesperson for the Norton mayor’s office, was sceptical of the threats.
“If Obama just popped over and did the Norton highstreet pub crawl he’d see us in a different light, I’m sure. Because he’d be pissed out of his face and bloody loving it.”
“And you’d just know he’d be the first person to mention Fat Sams.”