People who either read the Game of Thrones novels or watch episodes when they air in the US can now be legally put to death for giving away plotlines, Midsomer Norton Councillors have confirmed.
Councillors have agreed that anyone who knows about future plotlines or twists will be strictly forbidden from taking to Facebook or any other form of media and revealing them. Failure to obey will result in a Westeros-style beheading in the middle of the High Street for all the gaping townsfolk to see.
This latest decree was declared by Midsomer Norton Town Council at the striking of the twelfth hour today outside the gates of the Ol’ Town Hall, where the decapitated heads of previous offenders attached to pikes will be on display, serving as a gentle reminder for passers-by.
Jerome Bustyfield is a fan of the TV series,
“I don’t care if you read the books making you a ‘true fan’ or that you stayed up to 2am to watch the episode before anyone else. If you tell me what happens with King Joffrey or anything else I will beat your fucking head with my saucepan.”
“I’m just too important to have time to sift through several Argos catalogue sized novels.”
“To be fair though, winter has been coming for 4 years now, so one has to wonder if it’s been and gone already and nobody noticed.”
“Not that any of it really matters. By the time the series finally concludes, generations will have passed and we’ll all be dead anyway.”