Men are being warned that redeemable sex vouchers created with Microsoft Publisher with vaguely amusing clipart graphics do not constitute an acceptable gift for Valentine’s Day.
“My voucher had an image of some lips and a bed on it.” said boyfriend Jerome Bustyfield from Radstock. “And the text was in Edwardian Script font which I thought was quite a classy touch.”
“It was redeemable at any time but in the small print I stipulated that it had to be before any Six Nations fixture.”
“I mean, I’m not an idiot.”
“But my missus is now telling me that it’s not good enough and she wants an expensive Lindt chocolate selection box.”
“Well she’ll have to wait until tomorrow. McColls Newsagents is closed now and I’m not going into fucking Bath.”
“Honestly, I just won’t bother next time.”