Incessantly annoying “boy racers” who gather in desolate car parks at night are secretly amongst the most cultured and educated elite, insiders can reveal.
Iain Peacock, head of the Midsomer Norton Institution of Undercover Journalists, exposed the story after providing covert reporters with “chavved-to-the-max” Ford Fiestas and planting them inside the local boy racing community.
“You may think someone who spends over 3 grand trying to make a £150 piece of crap one MOT test away from death look even shitter is not that smart. Well, as it turns out you’d be wrong.”
Undercover reporter Dan Dante spent one night in Sainsbury’s car park dressed head-to-foot in Ben Sherman in a night that had unexpected results.
“It was a shock to discover these after dark meetings they have in car parks around the area actually serve as an opportunity for highly educated and pioneering debate.”
“You may think conversation would revolve around Lucy Pinder’s glorious airbags, or about bitches who’d be “trippin’”, or perhaps new ways to make their vehicles look even more ridiculous.
However the topics of the evening actually centred around the pros and cons of Lucian Freud’s psychoanalysis model and pre-1900s Italian politics.”
“Debates became heated, but always civilised and with good spirit.”
“Why they’ve chosen to hide this from the rest of the community is a mystery, but I think we can all look at these chavvy twats a little differently from now on.”