Complaint numbers unacceptably low, say Radstock Council

The recent unexpected roadworks that closed roads in Radstock occurred because the council “haven’t really pissed anyone off in a while”, sources have revealed.

The news comes after Radstock council announced that the number of complaints from local residents had become “unacceptably low”.

“As a local council, it is important for us to ensure that residents don’t get fooled into thinking we care about anything important to them.” said council spokesperson Iain Peacock.

“Complaints have become worryingly scarce. So expect to be stuck behind temporary traffic lights whilst watching workmen eating biscuits and chatting amongst each other on all important routes until further notice.”

“Also, the bin-men will now be working from the Aztec calendar, except for months just before or after either equinox. Obviously.”

“And the default language to our website will now be Farsi.”

“If we all work together, we can soon expect to see the number of complaints rise to levels of which we are all more accustomed to.”

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