Midsomer Norton council have announced that they will begin charging punters to watch brawling outside Fat Sams nightclub in the early hours of the morning.
After learning just how much pubs get charged to obtain a pub licence for boxing matches like the upcoming Groves/Froch rematch, a council spokesperson has announced they are keen to get in on the act.
“As soon as a fight kicks off, bouncers will be instructed to guide it onto the High Street where awaiting officials will be ready to take money from you.”
“Only then will you be able to laugh, point or film the entire thing on your smartphone.”
“Every winner will get a small trophy shaped like what we imagine an ASBO would look like in its tangible form.”
Councillor Iain Peacock was quick to lay down some ground rules.
“We are keen to stress that the Fat Sams entrance price will include the cost to watch all Fat Sams fights, which finish when either the police turn up 15 minutes late or when both opponents start hugging and apologising to each other for being ‘proper twats’.”
“Proceeds from all fights will go into funding new ways to encourage weekend violence.”
“Some people might say that because the fights occur on the public High Street, they shouldn’t be charged to watch it.
“Well, those people can just fuck off.”