The opening of Midsomer Norton’s Wetherspoons has been delayed after a family of ghosts have been found living in the abandoned cinema.
The opening date for the Wetherspoons outlet has already been delayed before, but the discovery of four immortal souls – one of whom appears to be overtly sociable – is expected to cause more sizable interruptions.
“We’re not sure if these apparitions are all brothers or cousins or whatever…” started project manager Jerome Bustyfield, “…but we do know that three of them are not inclined to humans whatsoever.”
“One of the ghosts always seems really happy to see us” said local construction worker Iain Peacock. “But in a way that by today’s standards is actually rather creepy.”
“He keeps asking me if I want to play with him and I’m not really sure what to make of that.”
Gina DiCampo, a parapsychologist for B&NES, said a European Protected Undead Soul licence will be required prior to any works proceeding, and that further surveys still need to be carried out to establish what needs to be done to encourage the undead to find new homes away from the derelict building.
Plans to open Wetherspoons are expected to continue once all spectral beings have been relocated to somewhere more suitable. Inside sources suggest the now-defunct Stones Cross Pub may be a possible new location for them.
When pressed for an exact opening time of the new Wetherspoons pub a spokesperson was quoted as saying “Maybe 2017. Maybe 2027. Who the fuck knows anymore.”