Despite the enticing nature of something called a Fun Fair, it is ultimately just a field full of people shouting over loud noises, residents have warned. “For some reason people always think that Fun Fairs are going to be exciting, almost magical places” said sociologist Iain Peacock, “Up until the point when they get there…
People who either read the Game of Thrones novels or watch episodes when they air in the US can now be legally put to death for giving away plotlines, Midsomer Norton Councillors have confirmed. Councillors have agreed that anyone who knows about future plotlines or twists will be strictly forbidden from taking to Facebook or…
Men everywhere are calling women out on how long it took them to really take their “impromptu” no make-up selfie. “Me missus posted her makeup-less face on Facebook yesterday with the description that she quickly snapped it after getting out of the shower.” said Iain Peacock, from Radstock. “She conveniently didn’t mention that I had…
Midsomer Norton council have announced that they will begin charging punters to watch brawling outside Fat Sams nightclub in the early hours of the morning. After learning just how much pubs get charged to obtain a pub licence for boxing matches like the upcoming Groves/Froch rematch, a council spokesperson has announced they are keen to…
Midsomer Norton elders have announced plans to release a brand new TV channel which is going to be even worse than ITV2 and Channel 5, news has emerged. A spokesperson has claimed the new channel, which will feature people from the Norton-Radstock area, will use ITV2 as a benchmark for what they can get away…
Regulars at the White Hart in Midsomer Norton spoke of their shock and amazement as Dr. Who star Peter Capaldi joined them for a Monday afternoon drinking session and candidly revealed inside information and spoiler details about the popular BBC Sci-Fi drama. Stunned drinker Graham Anuscream revealed that Capaldi, 55, ordered “pint after pint” of…
HBO series “Game of Thrones” is actually based on the constant sparring between Midsomer Norton and other nearby towns, it has been revealed. Speaking in an interview, author George R. R. Martin revealed for the first time that the inspiration for the popular books – that feature several warring families battling it out for control…
73% of people who live in or around Midsomer Norton have at one point managed the Greyhound Pub, a survey has revealed. The survey results come at a time when the Greyhound is once again within the throes of another “change of hands”. Dan Dante, a supermarket checkout clerk, managed the pub several years back,…
The Old Palladium on the Midsomer Norton Highstreet is actually really old, a study has determined. Jerome Bustyfield, head of the Radstock Institute of Old Buildings, inspected the Old Palladium and concluded that the building must be, as first suspected, really old. “Well it’s all ancient and dusty looking, so it could go all the…
The front beer garden of Mallards Pub in Midsomer Norton is actually a holding pen for ITV “talk” show the Jeremy Kyle show, it has emerged. The iconic black gates that surround the Midsomer Norton haunt are actually to keep potential Jeremy Kyle guests contained, and nothing to do with preventing antisocial behaviour, as first…
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