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Author: RichTeaBiscuit

Drinkers to return to forgetting nights out after Mallards re-opens

March 9, 2017March 9, 2017 RichTeaBiscuit

Hundreds of residents across Midsomer Norton are looking forward to once again not being able to recall a thing about their wholly unexceptional nights out, it has been reported. Ever since pub Mallards closed its […]

Leave a commentEntertainment

Gatherings in Frome attributed to “Potato & Seed Swap Day”

February 24, 2017February 24, 2017 RichTeaBiscuit

Large gatherings of people in Frome have been attributed to the town’s famous “Potato and Seed Swap” day, sources have confirmed. Dubbed ‘the only place to go for any keen gardener or allotmenteer needs‘, the […]

Leave a commentCulture

Pikachu arrested in Norton skatepark

July 18, 2016July 18, 2016 RichTeaBiscuit

Pokémon Go character Pikachu has been arrested in Midsomer Norton skatepark on drug related charges, sources have revealed. According to a police spokesperson, officers were called to the skate park after reports of someone harassing […]

Leave a commentCelebrity, Crime, Culture

M-Fest 2017 headline rumours already started

July 14, 2016July 14, 2016 RichTeaBiscuit

Only days after the M-Fest festival in Midsomer Norton comes to an end, unconfirmed rumours have already started spreading over which acts will headline M-Fest 2017. Acts like “those guys with the guitars” and “that […]

Leave a commentCulture

Men to get drunk this weekend to support gay rights

June 18, 2016June 18, 2016 RichTeaBiscuit

Heterosexual men in Midsomer Norton are insisting to their spouses that they need to get absolutely shitfaced in town this weekend or risk being labelled massive homophobes. June 18th sees Midsomer Norton’s first ever Gay […]

Leave a commentCulture, Nightlife

MadeInNorton and TodayIsAllAboutBath “heading for war”

May 27, 2016May 27, 2016 RichTeaBiscuit

Facebook pages ‘MadeInNorton’ and ‘TodayIsAllAboutBath’ are heading for all-out bloody war with each other, of which the likes the world have never seen, experts have today warned. The bitter rivalry between the two divisive Facebook […]

Leave a commentPolitics

Summer 2016 given “intimate” funeral service

May 11, 2016May 11, 2016 RichTeaBiscuit

Summer 2016 has been laid to rest at Midsomer Norton cemetery in a private yet “intimate” funeral ceremony, sources have revealed. The season tragically passed away on May 8th 2016 at the tender age of […]

Leave a commentWeather

“I’m just fucking with you” says Summer

May 5, 2016 RichTeaBiscuit

Summer has confirmed it’s just fucking with our emotions by tricking us into believing we may see something other than overwhelming bleakness over the next 3 or 4 months. “I try to do it every […]

Leave a commentWeather

Family of four ghosts delay Midsomer Norton Wetherspoons opening

March 8, 2016March 8, 2016 RichTeaBiscuit

The opening of Midsomer Norton’s Wetherspoons has been delayed after a family of ghosts have been found living in the abandoned cinema. The opening date for the Wetherspoons outlet has already been delayed before, but […]

Leave a commentEntertainment, Nightlife

12 dead, 34 missing after Midsomer Norton snowfall

March 5, 2016November 14, 2019 RichTeaBiscuit

12 people have died and 34 are still missing after Midsomer Norton was devastated by an overwhelming two centimetres of snow that fell over a single five hour period earlier. Alarms were raised early yesterday […]

Leave a commentWeather

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Recent Posts

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    Prince Harry’s leaving drinks to be on Midsomer Norton high street

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    Woman who posted “New Year, New Me” on Facebook never going to change

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