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  • Obama urges military strikes against Norton
    Nightlife | Politics

    Obama urges military strikes against Norton

    ByRichTeaBiscuit September 28, 2013September 28, 2013

    US President Barack Obama has today continued efforts to forge a UN coalition in support of military intervention against Midsomer Norton during Friday and Saturday nights, it has emerged. Speaking in a press conference today, Obama was confident plans would progress. “It is clear that the UK government isn’t adequately dealing with the increasingly worrying…

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  • Karl Pilkington likes Norton
    Celebrity

    Karl Pilkington likes Norton

    ByRichTeaBiscuit September 28, 2013September 28, 2013

    TV oddball Karl Pilkington claims to have found his ideal destination after a recent trip to Midsomer Norton. A spokesperson for Pilkington claimed that Midsomer Norton’s unspoken mantra of rejecting new ideas and snubbing the hopes and dreams of others fitted in well with the TV star’s general outlook of life. “Mr. Pilkington has found…

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  • Local Man Offended By Something on Internet
    Technology

    Local Man Offended By Something on Internet

    ByRichTeaBiscuit September 28, 2013March 11, 2014

    The local area has been at near anarchy today after breaking news has emerged that a Radstock resident has been offended by something he saw on the Internet. The man, whose identity has not been released, came across the offensive content when searching the Internet yesterday. Iain Peacock, head of the Internet Police, travelled to…

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  • Flailing Norton Economy Blamed on Candy Crush Saga
    Economy | Technology

    Flailing Norton Economy Blamed on Candy Crush Saga

    ByRichTeaBiscuit September 27, 2013January 28, 2014

    Recent studies have suggested that the flailing economy on the Midsomer Norton highstreet is because of Candy Crush Saga, experts have warned. The warnings come in lieu of an increasing amount of people now sending completely useless “virtual gifts” via Facebook games instead of tangible presents that have real world value. The economic downturn is…

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  • Norton not where Midsomer Murders is filmed
    Entertainment

    Norton not where Midsomer Murders is filmed

    ByRichTeaBiscuit September 27, 2013September 28, 2013

    73% of people who visit Midsomer Norton do so after mistakenly believing it is where ITV drama Midsomer Murders is filmed, a survey has revealed. Dan Dante, a spokesperson for the Midsomer Norton Tourist board, was embittered by the survey results. “If we’ve said it once we’ve said it a thousand times. No, we’re not…

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