The False Widow Spider community has been told to be on the lookout for increasing number of humans after experts have warned about a rise in the population. The news comes after experts reported that the Prince and Princess humans have recently bore a child, leading to an expected increase in human reproduction rates. Sammy…
Over 98% of Radstockians still haven’t got a clue what that big wheel in the centre of Radstock actually is, a recent survey has revealed. For years the large, green wheel has proudly been on display in the centre of the town outside the museum for all to see, despite the vast majority of residents…
The town of Radstock has unfriended neighbour Midsomer Norton on popular social website Facebook, it has emerged. The news broke after Radstock claimed they were fed up with Midsomer Norton constantly posting optimistic updates that “have no place on Facebook.” “They’re far too happy. ‘Oh, look at our bustling highstreet, look at our lively pubs,…
Incessantly annoying “boy racers” who gather in desolate car parks at night are secretly amongst the most cultured and educated elite, insiders can reveal. Iain Peacock, head of the Midsomer Norton Institution of Undercover Journalists, exposed the story after providing covert reporters with “chavved-to-the-max” Ford Fiestas and planting them inside the local boy racing community….
Last night’s thunder and lightning storm over Midsomer Norton has led to a dramatic increase of Internet ads requesting “thunder buddies”, it has emerged. Iain Peacock, a pathetic wimp from Westfield, used CraigsList to search for potential matches. “Match.com was only interested in whether I was looking for a serious relationship or a ‘bit of…
A new outreach program begins tomorrow to help delusional Spurs fans “face reality” and stop living in denial, in the latest council initiative. After spending the entire summer refusing to accept that Gareth Bale would ever leave the club, as well as believing their inferior signings will somehow inexplicably lead to them winning the league,…
TV adventurer Bear Grylls has been found wandering aimlessly and confused through Radstock this morning, news has emerged. Grylls was reported missing after telling close friends he was about to embark on his most dangerous and arduous expedition to date. Sgt. Jerome Bustyfield of Radstock police said in a statement he was found in good…
Fans of TV series Breaking Bad are claiming the show has ruined everything now that it has concluded and they are forced to return to the tedious monotony of real life. Radstock resident Iain Peacock, a fan from the beginning, was one of the first to speak out. “The prospect of watching a barrage of…
The 18-30 community of Midsomer Norton have been forced to admit that club Fat Sams “can’t be all that bad” after consistently failing to follow through on multiple vows never to go there again. According to recent survey, 98% of local residents under 30 who had sworn they’d never return to the club after waking…
The recent flurry of terrible software upgrades such as Apple’s iOS7 and the Start Menuless Windows 8 has triggered council plans to “update” the High Street in order to make it utterly pathetic, it has been announced. “We like trends.” a council spokesperson stated. “And the trend at the moment is to take something relatively…
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