Midsomer Norton has announced that it is to relocate from the UK in search of better weather and slightly less pathetic politicians. “People assume we’re leaving just because the weather is shit.” “Well, to be fair, that is pretty much it.” “But we’re also going to indiscriminately moan about British politics and the amount of…
A council initiative has been launched in Midsomer Norton to teach people how to stop being so fucking annoying on Facebook. Dan Dante, a council spokesperson, claims the scheme kicks off next week. “It may come as a bit of a shock to some people, but Facebook is actually not the go-to place to post…
The crocodile reportedly on the loose in Bristol is “me missus without ‘er make-up”, according to a flurry of Facebook status updates posted by every man in the area. Reports of a crocodile on the loose in the Bristol area has residents on alert, but there is no need to worry as everything is okay…
The Loch Ness Monster has been spotted holidaying in the River Somer along the Midsomer Norton Highstreet, local papers have reported. Eagle-eyed photographers snapped photos of Loch Ness with his family taking an early-year break from the wintry showers over Scotland, where he is currently filming his latest movie “The Dreaded Loch Ness Whose Secretly…
Regulars at the White Hart in Midsomer Norton spoke of their shock and amazement as Dr. Who star Peter Capaldi joined them for a Monday afternoon drinking session and candidly revealed inside information and spoiler details about the popular BBC Sci-Fi drama. Stunned drinker Graham Anuscream revealed that Capaldi, 55, ordered “pint after pint” of…
HBO series “Game of Thrones” is actually based on the constant sparring between Midsomer Norton and other nearby towns, it has been revealed. Speaking in an interview, author George R. R. Martin revealed for the first time that the inspiration for the popular books – that feature several warring families battling it out for control…
73% of people who live in or around Midsomer Norton have at one point managed the Greyhound Pub, a survey has revealed. The survey results come at a time when the Greyhound is once again within the throes of another “change of hands”. Dan Dante, a supermarket checkout clerk, managed the pub several years back,…
The Old Palladium on the Midsomer Norton Highstreet is actually really old, a study has determined. Jerome Bustyfield, head of the Radstock Institute of Old Buildings, inspected the Old Palladium and concluded that the building must be, as first suspected, really old. “Well it’s all ancient and dusty looking, so it could go all the…
Manchester United’s hordes of glory supporters have expressed feelings of confusion and bewilderment over the growing revelation that they’re following a now largely average sports team. Radstock resident Jerome Bustyfield, a supporter of Manchester United ever since they started winning things, appeared ultimately baffled over the events of the last few months. “I’m not sure…
The front beer garden of Mallards Pub in Midsomer Norton is actually a holding pen for ITV “talk” show the Jeremy Kyle show, it has emerged. The iconic black gates that surround the Midsomer Norton haunt are actually to keep potential Jeremy Kyle guests contained, and nothing to do with preventing antisocial behaviour, as first…
We use cookies only to see how you arrived here (e.g. search engine, another website). By using our site, you consent to cookies.
Manage your cookie preferences below:
Essential cookies enable basic functions and are necessary for the proper function of the website.
Statistics cookies collect information anonymously. This information helps us understand how visitors use our website.
Google Analytics is a powerful tool that tracks and analyzes website traffic for informed marketing decisions.
Service URL: policies.google.com (opens in a new window)
SourceBuster is used by WooCommerce for order attribution based on user source.