“Sun needs to calm the fuck down” say local residents
Midsomer Norton residents have told the sun it needs to calm the fuck down as they need to work. As most of the UK basks in oven-like heat, local Midsomer Norton resident Gina DeCampo told […]
Midsomer Norton residents have told the sun it needs to calm the fuck down as they need to work. As most of the UK basks in oven-like heat, local Midsomer Norton resident Gina DeCampo told […]
A festival goer has confirmed that attending a festival in your thirties means that you now celebrate things like having a relatively normal stool movement and remembering to bring heartburn medication. Jerome Bustyfield, an electrician […]
A man is planning on treating his first ever girlfriend to what will almost certainly be a very disappointing Valentine’s meal in the new Palladium Wetherspoons, reports have emerged. Novice Jerome Bustyfield from Welton has […]
Residents of Midsomer Norton have been left assuming anything is possible after the England football team actually won a World Cup penalty shootout. “I’m going to drive to Bristol, and at no point am I […]
A couple from Midsomer Norton are about to sit down to watch Love Island, like the pair of mindless, obedient sheep that they are. Love Island – a show that documents the monotonous antics of […]
A local man from Midsomer Norton can’t stop telling people about how he couldn’t give two shits about the Royal Wedding. Jerome Bustyfield, who works on the Westfield Trading Estate, has spent most of this […]
The Easter Bunny has announced Easter has been cancelled in Midsomer Norton and across the South West, citing “logistical difficulties due to extreme weather conditions”. The announcement comes amidst yet another snow flurry to hit […]
When the white stuff begins to fall, you know who you’re friends truly are. And they’re probably one of these 8. 1. The Child As soon as the first snowflake settles on the ground, the […]
Yesterday’s devastating earthquake that affected areas including Midsomer Norton, Bristol and Bath is going to be turned into an epic adventure disaster movie, sources have revealed. While details are being kept tight-lipped, rumours suggest the […]
Prince Harry’s stag will take him down the usual Crossways, Mallards and possibly Fat Sams route, Buckingham Palace has confirmed this morning. While many suspected the prince may have opted to go upmarket and head […]