Men everywhere are calling women out on how long it took them to really take their “impromptu” no make-up selfie. “Me missus posted her makeup-less face on Facebook yesterday with the description that she quickly snapped it after getting out of the shower.” said Iain Peacock, from Radstock. “She conveniently didn’t mention that I had…
Local conservative MP Jacob-Rees-Mogg is actually a delinquent chav masquerading in an expensive yet ill-fitting suit, insiders close to the politician have revealed. “Don’t let his upper class, flimsy appearance deceive you.” an insider has warned “If you tell him you vote Labour he may very well flip out and stab you in the face”…
Midsomer Norton council have announced that they will begin charging punters to watch brawling outside Fat Sams nightclub in the early hours of the morning. After learning just how much pubs get charged to obtain a pub licence for boxing matches like the upcoming Groves/Froch rematch, a council spokesperson has announced they are keen to…
The recent unexpected roadworks that closed roads in Radstock occurred because the council “haven’t really pissed anyone off in a while”, sources have revealed. The news comes after Radstock council announced that the number of complaints from local residents had become “unacceptably low”. “As a local council, it is important for us to ensure that…
The Greyhound is to be converted into a Japanese Rock Zen Garden where drinkers can “find themselves” between pubs, in the latest council initiative to combat weekend violence. The news comes as the Greyhound Pub once again announces that it is to close its doors because “everyone is really, really mean”. The state-of-the-art Rock Garden…
Our photographer on-the-ground has been busy taking… photos. Funnily enough. But where exactly on the Midsomer Norton high-street have these 6 photos zoomed-in photos been taken? (email ccharles_03 [at] hotmail [dot] com with as many correct answers as possible by Friday midnight and winner gets name mentioned on the site. Because we don’t really have…
People will no longer give a flying fuck about anything other than watching On-Demand TV or getting completely shitfaced for the next few days, scientists have predicted. Professor Dan Dante – from the Research Institute of Weekend Studies – claims that this sort of behaviour occurs about once every week, typically on or around Friday…
Manchester United fans have begun to contemplate the meaning of life as well as other philosophical conundrums now that they aren’t entirely consumed with winning everything. “A 2-2 draw with Fulham just isn’t something I particularly want to dwell on for very long” said Man United fan Jerome Bustyfield, from Radstock. “I really needed something…
Midsomer Norton elders have announced plans to release a brand new TV channel which is going to be even worse than ITV2 and Channel 5, news has emerged. A spokesperson has claimed the new channel, which will feature people from the Norton-Radstock area, will use ITV2 as a benchmark for what they can get away…
Midsomer Norton town council has announced plans to rename Valentine’s Day to “Loneliness Awareness Day” because that is essentially what it is. A spokesperson for the town council announced the plans today. “Perhaps people have made past mistakes, perhaps they’re just really ugly. Whatever the reason, it is important to make people aware that they…
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